How do I make the right decisions? The Power of the Inner Guardians.
Kristina and I talked on last week’s podcast (German, sorry) about how we can make good decisions even in times that are particularly turbulent. Our soul is always interested in us evolving, in us growing, our mind has the job of assessing whether our desire to grow brings danger or whether we are up to it. And this is where the Inner Guardians come into play.
When we decide something unconsciously, we are influenced by our Inner Guardians, who place themselves in our mind before the experiences we have already had, in order not to have to relive a possible pain that we experienced in the past.
Our mind tries to protect us in this way, to go through life emotionally stable. Our Inner Guardians are therefore parts of us that want to prevent us from repeating unpleasant experiences. They are the inner voices that unconsciously guide us and thus often decide for us how we live our lives and have experiences.
If we do not know these Inner Guardians, if we do not become aware of them, if we do not consciously deal with them in the process of decision-making, asking ourselves where the impulse to decide in one direction comes from, we are at the mercy of our Inner Guardians or even moods.
It is therefore important that we bring ourselves into a conscious presence when making important decisions that we need to make or want to make. If we look closely at ourselves, become aware of which Inner Guardians are at play, we can decide more consciously whether this Inner Guardian protection is actually serving us on the way to our goal or keeping us from it.
So, if we want to make the „right“ decisions in our lives, namely in a way that will move us forward in our lives or toward a goal in our lives, it is important that we know our Inner Guardians. When we know what unconscious dynamics are at play, when we consciously confront whether we are really exposed to danger, and when we muster the courage to want to have a NEW experience despite what we have experienced so far, then we make conscious decisions that then always feel „right“. Precisely because we have chosen them consciously and freely at that moment.
What are Inner Guardians?
Inner Guardians are our inner parts that have the task to protect us. They are supposed to ward off anything that reminds us of emotional or mental experiences we once had or that triggers these old experiences again. We call them the Inner Guardians because they watch over our experiences and our experience. They are our Inner System, which even when we are unconscious, stand in for us and protect us from danger.
Inner guardians protect us from having to repeat or look at experienced pain again. They stand in front of our parts that have experienced traumatic pain and keep us from having to feel that pain again.
There are many different types of guardians that come together to form a guardian consciousness. This Guardian Consciousness makes sure that we only expose ourselves to challenges that we are capable of facing.
How do these Inner Guardians work?
The Guardian Consciousness has the task of optimizing our lives. It is in close coordination with our Autonomic Nervous System, which sends signals that put the Guardian Consciousness into development, flight or fight, avoidance or repression mode. In the last instance, the guardian system sets about disconnecting the levels of perception, putting us into what is called freeze mode, where we no longer feel or perceive anything. Depending on how our overall system is currently set up and able to deal with the current challenges, the Inner Guardians know what to ward off from us and what to let get to us.
How are Inner Guardians formed?
The root of Inner Guardians is fear. Fear of any pain, both physical and emotional. This fear is continually fed by pent-up and unresolved emotions such as guilt, shame, anger, powerlessness, despair, and so on. The various Inner Guardians within us are like soldiers of this fear in response to being able to deal with what we have experienced. They immediately take control as soon as the Guardian Consciousness perceives that danger is imminent, when an experience is approaching that could cause us pain or remind us of an old pain.
Why do our Inner Guardians have such power over us?
Each person has his or her very own Inner Guardians. They come into play when we are faced with a challenge that overwhelms our consciousness at that moment. Even if we have the desire to deal with our deeper issues, if we want to evolve and enter into a process where we want to deal with these Guardians, it can happen that we are as if blinded by certain information that is available to us to do so. Remember – our guardian consciousness wants to protect us from having to relive pain, so it does everything it can to avoid unpleasant information, which prevents us from reflecting and learning.
This mechanism of repression happens unconsciously because our Inner Guardians have been very well trained over many years to avoid new hurts, but also when we are unable to admit our feelings or we have not learned how to accept and work with such feelings.
How can we work with our Inner Guardians?
First, we need courage to face our own fears and pain. It is important that we want to consciously deal with it, want to develop further, and are also willing to look at painful experiences once again. Our pains, just like the guardians, are great supporters that show us what we do NOT want in our lives. If we take heart and deal with the pain, we will free ourselves from it. If we continue to repress our pain and try to bury it in the deepest abyss of our soul, we will keep creating new productions in our lives to create new experiences that will bring that pain out of the abyss to heal it.
Along the way, we very often encounter moments when we want to branch off the path again after all. Here again, our inner guardians are active because they want to prevent us from doing so. The voices then say that we don’t need this, that we are actually doing quite well and so on. But when we run away from something, we only avoid looking closely. Until, at some point, a new production appears in our lives that invites us to take another close look.
It requires a lot of generosity, love and patience with ourselves to decide again and again to deal with our issues. It requires sensitivity and reflectivity to find out exactly where the Inner Guardians are coming from, what they are protecting us from, and whether we are ready to deal with these issues or not (yet).
It is a constant process of examining, introspecting and forgiving.
Our guardians are our protectors, our friends. Until we are ready or able to deal with unhealed pain, we need them to keep us emotionally and mentally stable through life. However, they also keep us from being free and experiencing our aliveness. Feelings cannot be selected. We cannot avoid our fear and anger, but we can increase our joy and exuberance in life.
Above all, if we want to change something in our lives, if we want to grow, if we want to create a life for ourselves that is different from what we have lived so far, it is important that we go into this transformational work. Our guardians are keepers and they want to protect us. We need to make them our accomplices for what we want in life. The better we know them and we are in relationship with them, the better we can cooperate with them and also decide, despite their signals, for something that will possibly cause us new pain – but possibly also create more joy and aliveness in our lives.
Especially if we want to change something in our life, if we want to grow, if we want to create a life that is different from what we have lived so far, it is important that we go into this transformational work. Our guardians are keepers and they want to protect us. We need to make them our accomplices for what we want in life. The better we know them and we are in relationship with them, the better we can cooperate with them and also decide, despite their signals, for something that will possibly cause us new pain – but possibly also create more joy and aliveness in our lives.
Often we find it difficult to approach our guardians with our mind. Methods that involve our emotional body and our energetic body can help with this. A very effective method for this is THE SPIRAL, which I use very often in my work with my clients when it comes to dissolving old beliefs and thought patterns or healing painful experiences that are stored deep in our unconscious. If you are curious, please feel free to make an appointment with me for an informational consultation about this.
How do I make right and conscious decisions?
1) Make friends with your Inner Guardians.
Become aware of which Inner Voices are active and what the Inner Guardians want to protect you from. Literally invite the Inner Guardians to give you information. If you find it difficult to access these Guardians with your mind, find a coach or therapist to help you work through these issues. Where do the parts come from, which experiences have you possibly not yet processed, but repressed the pain and need to look at them again, in order to go back into a new experience despite these old experiences, which supports you in your further development. You will see that the more you become aware of these Inner Guardians, the more relaxed they become – they recognize that you are consciously dealing with danger and so can take a step back.
2) Reflect on what signals your guardian consciousness is giving you.
Are you well positioned with your overall system and can you face the new challenge? What do you need to have the courage to make this decision consciously for yourself? Do you have enough space and energy in your life to deal with it? For example, if you want to take up a new hobby, a new partnership, a job change, this will cost you energy and time – do you currently have enough energy to deal with it? Is now the right time or what do you need to be positioned to take on this new challenge?
3) Make a plan how you can integrate more consciousness into your life with rituals and small steps.
You can train yourself to make more and more decisions for yourself out of consciousness in everyday life. Create a space where you can practice conscious presence, e.g. meditation or a walk. Maybe also a weekly ritual where you reflect on yourself and see how you have made decisions in the last week that support you to reach your goals or to be more conscious.